Power Rankings

  • With a convincing defeat of the Kansas City Chiefs to c omelet the season sweep, the Denver Broncos took over top billing in the AFC -- but only climbed one spot in the Water Cooler Sports Week 13 Power Rankings.

    WCS Week 13 Power Rankings: Bring out the sorting hat

    Proctologistics Well, here we are, 13 weeks into the 2013 NFL season. To use a horse-racing term, we have reached the three-quarter post. If you know anything about horse racing, or...

  • The Seattle Seahawks successfully defended their position atop the Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings in Week 12.

    WCS Week 12 Power Rankings: You can’t keep a bad team down

    Proctologistics It only took 57 weeks, but the Jacksonville Jaguars have finally floated to the top of the toilet bowl, besting that sinking turd, the Houston Texans, to shed their 32nd...

  • The Denver Broncos triumphed over the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday Night Football, unseating the final undefeated team of the 2013 NFL regular season.

    WCS Week 11 Power Rankings: Retirement home staff popping corks for ’72 Dolphins

    Proctologistics The final undefeated team has fallen. The Kansas City Chiefs put up a good effort, but the altitude in Denver took its toll as the defense looked gassed after the...

  • The Minnesota Vikings made the Washington Redskins look like a bunch of cripples on Thursday Night Football. Was that insensitive of me to say?

    WCS Week 10 Power Rankings: 2008 Lions are popping corks!

    Proctologistics Some weeks just leave us scratching our balls — er, heads. To start off the festivities, the Minnesota Vikings shocked us on Thursday night, not just by winning, but by...

  • It's always unfortunate when the biggest stories of the week have nothing to do with action on the field.

    WCS Week 9 Power Rankings: A league in turmoil

    Proctologistics I apologize for any delay or lack of humor in the Week 9 Power Rankings, but I was knocked out for two days with a nasty cold. The week started...

  • It's time for John Jedlicka to release the weekly spankings known as the Water Cooler Power Rankings.

    WCS Week 8 Power Rankings: 8-8 really isn’t all that great

    Proctologistics The week that was in the NFL for some was warm fuzz; for others hot hell. There were blowouts and snoozels, flipflops and flamfluzzles. Fear not, my fair friends, I...

  • The Colts beating the Broncos wasn't the only shake-up the to the Power Rankings this week!

    WCS Week 7 Power Rankings: There can only be one!

    Who’s that man behind the curtain This week, while I did the rankings, I am honored to have three “mystery guest” commentators. All three are contributing writers to this site, and...

  • Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was just as upset as Matt Schaub when Houston Texans fans cheered as Schaub went down with injury in Week 6.

    WCS Week 6 Power Rankings: And then there were two

    Proctologistics Unfortunately, the most notable thing that happened in NFL Week 6 happened off the field. Late in the third period of Sunday’s game against the St. Louis Rams, Houston Texans...

  • Are you wondering from which unplumbable depths Andy Froehle pulled the Week 5 Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings? Bend over and spread 'em.

    WCS Week 5 Power Rankings: An ass-load of pun

    Proctologistics For some unknown reason, that bum John Jedlicka is on hiatus this week. Accordingly, I am stepping in to provide the assist in the Week 5 WCS Power Rankings, which...

  • The Denver Broncos still rule the Contrankings after a dominant performance in Week 4.

    Contrankings: Denver Broncos still king of the mountain after Week 4

  • Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco lies like a prolate spheroid on the turf after making yet another catastrophic mistake.

    WCS Week 4 Power Rankings: First-quarter reckoning

    Proctologistics Well, what do you know? We wait all summer bitching at our wives and kids, teasing animals, and starting things on fire, as the anticipation builds. We go through free...

  • Quarterback Peyton Manning cemented his MVP frontrunner status as the Denver Broncos rocketed to the top of the Week 3 Contrankings.

    Contrankings: Peyton Manning leads Denver Broncos to top in Week 3

    You’ve been sitting on the edge of your seat all weak. You’ve been white-knuckling that mug of coffee as you burn the midnight oil. To be honest, you thought this moment...

  • With their throttling of the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Seattle Seahawks rocket to the top of the Week 3 Power Rankings.

    WCS Week 3 Power Rankings: Seattle Seahawks rule the roost

    Proctologistics With three weeks of the NFL regular season in the books, the one thing that is clear is that nothing is clear. This week was nothing if not entertaining. We...

  • The Sea Gals had a lot to celebrate as the Seattle Seahawks systematically dismantled the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday Night Football.

    Week 2 Power Rankings: Wailing and gnashing of teeth

    Proctologistics Its Week 2, folks! I hope you have prepared your tender angii for another week of delusional jockeying for bragging rights on the interwebs while your teams continue to screw...

  • Seattle Seahawks players celebrate their meteoric ascension to the top of the Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings after Week 1.

    WCS Power Rankings: Seattle Seahawks class of NFL after Week 1

    Proctologistics (If you’re new to this site, this is the section in which I pull shit out of my ass.) Nothing like Week 1 of the NFL regular season to give...

  • The fans always hope their team will be #1. But who is really deserving?

    WCSN 2013 Preseason Power Rankings

    And So It Begins! Are you ready for your WCSN Preseason Power Rankings? I know I am! After six months in this barren wasteland we call the off-season, the real football...

  • You can feel the rage running through John Jedlicka's Week 17 Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings.

    WCSN Week 17 Power Rankings

    Editor’s note I would like to take this opportunity to thank John for his contributions. He has not been our most prolific writer, but everything he has contributed has been solid...

  • Water Cooler Sports columnist John Jedlicka brings hope the bacon with the Week 16 Power Rankings.

    WCSN Week 16 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics I trust you all had a safe and happy holiday. For me it was a weekend filled with family, friends, food, and football. In Cincinnati and Indianapolis, Christmas came early,...

  • The Denver Broncos cheerleaders have reason to shout, as quarterback Peyton Manning has given the fans an early Christmas present, taking his team to the top of the Week 15 Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings.

    WCSN Week 15 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics Week 15 was a good week for the road teams and all but ensured a nail-biting end to the regular season. With two weeks left, seven of twelve playoff spots...

  • If even Water Cooler Sports Power Ranker John Jedlicka can't figure out this topsy-turvy league, what hope is there for Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler?

    WCSN Week 14 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics It was another crazy week in the NFL. I don’t know about you, but this week left me scratching my head. Teams like Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and Chicago had the opportunity...

  • So you think you can rank teams better than Water Cooler Sports power ranker John Jedlicka? Time to take your lumps, chumps.

    WCSN Week 12 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics With 11 games under their belts, Houston and Atlanta continue to win, all but ensuring themselves a spot in the playoffs. They hardly look like the best teams, however. That...

  • San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh single-handedly created a quarterback controversy during a press conference this week.

    WCSN Week 11 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics As we approach the three quarter point in the season, the playoff picture is starting to come into focus. While a few teams at the top continue to win and...

  • Our guru has emerged from his lair to release the Week 10 Water Cooler Sports NFL Power Rankings.

    WCSN NFL Week 10 Power Rankings

    Proctologistics In a week which had the potential to put a stamp on the season for many teams, the game that may best typify this week was a 24-24 tie between...

  • Jared Allen's drinking problem likely has contributed to his team's ranking at No. 34, two spots below the total number of teams in the NFL.

    Power Rankings: Head-to-head results clarify NFL hierarchy

    Truth in power ranking With half the NFL regular season in the books, we’re finally getting some clarity in the debate over where our respective teams rank in the football hierarchy....

  • The Water Cooler Sports NFL Power Rankings for Week 9 are as crazy as this Coke head's bright red wig.

    WCSN NFL Power Rankings: Week 9

    Proctologistics The 2012 NFL regular season is officially halfway over. As of Monday night, every team has played at least eight games. I think we all know what that means: absolutely...

  • The Water Cooler Sports NFL Power Rankings for Week 8 are as impeccable as the outfits of this wedding couple.

    WCSN Power Rankings: Week 8

    Proctologistics Hello, you rabid sport fans. We have slammed the book on another week of NFL regular season football. Since I hadn’t received any e-mails this week, I am going to...

  • Columnist John Jedlicka flashes his high beams as he takes over the Water Cooler Sports NFL Power Rankings for Week 7.

    WCSN Power Rankings: Week 7

    New guard Is it just me, or is the responsibility for these Power Rankings getting passed around quicker than a spliff in the Lions locker room? If it weren’t for my...

  • The Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings for Week 6 are not the product of a hive mind but rather of the perspicacity of one Paul Childers.

    WCSN Power Rankings: Week 6

    A new era In the wake of the unfortunate resignation of our power ranker K. Moss, I elected to take a full week to prepare myself to take over this endeavor....

  • For the second week in a row, the Houston Texans reign supreme in the Water Cooler Sports Network NFL Power Rankings.

    WCSN Power Rankings: Week 5

    Quick Hits: Of the 75 offensive plays the New Orleans Saints executed, only 19 were running plays. Three of seven touchdown passes by Green Bay Packers Aaron Rodgers have been to...

  • Grab a beer, kick back, and enjoy the Week 3 Power Rankings, courtesy of the Water Cooler Sports Network.

    WCSN Power Rankings: Week 3

    First things first I know most of you are sick of talking about it or are trying to forget the image, but we cannot ignore the giant elephant in the room....

  • If hanging a horseshoe above the door can bring good luck, what can three beautiful women with horseshoes on their hats do for a team?

    NFL Power Rankings: Week 3

    Some people were pretty vocal in questioning the Black and Blue Sports Power Rankings last week. I extended the invitation to certain people to assist in drafting these power rankings, but...

  • Which teams rose and which teams fell in the Black and Blue NFL Power Rankings? Read on to find out.

    NFL Power Rankings: Week 2

    Making History What a way to open the 2012-2013 NFL regular season! It was a weekend to remember — or to forget, depending on how your team did — and chock-full...

  • Today marks the inaugural edition of the 2012 Black and Blue Sports Network NFL Power Rankings. Who will come out on top?

    Power Rankings, Week 1 — New York Giants on top

    You can sense it. The tension is thickening. The landscape is changing before your eyes. Sports sites and blogs everywhere are finalizing their 2012 Super Bowl picks, NFL fans are dusting...