Black, Blue, and Ornery: the jilted ex

By
Updated: January 29, 2014

 

Seattle defensive end Cliff Avril took a few potshots at his old team, the Detroit Lions.

Seattle defensive end Cliff Avril took a few potshots at his old team, the Detroit Lions.

Editor’s note: we are currently looking for people to help share the load of writing Black, Blue, and Ornery.  If you would be interested in writing it even once a week, let me know at .

Good morning, folks! Welcome to the Water Cooler Sports Black, Blue, and Ornery, your source for NFC North News on this Wednesday, January 29th, 2014.

Quote of the day:

“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.”
-Cavett Robert
 

And on this day in history:

  • 2009-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was removed from office after being convicted of several corruption charges.  Most notably, he tried to sell off a Senate seat.  Sadly, Blagojevich is probably not even in the top 5 for most corrupt Illinois politicians in the last 50 years.
  • 2002-President George W. Bush coins the term “Axis of evil” to describe countries that harbor and sponsor terrorist regimes.  Sounds to me like he had been playing too much Axis and Allies the night before.
  • 1963-The first class of inductees into the Pro Football Hall of Fame were announced.  The class featured seventeen members, eight of whom had ties to the current NFC North teams.
We here at Water Cooler Sports want to wish Oprah a very happy 60th birthday!

We here at Water Cooler Sports want to wish Oprah a very happy 60th birthday!

We also have some great birthdays to celebrate today!

  • Tom Selleck (69)-mustachioed macho actor famous for roles in Magnum PI and Friends, among others.
  • Marc Gasol (29)-Spanish basketball player who currently plays for the NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies.
  • Thomas Paine (1737-1809)-Philosopher and political theorist most famous for the pro-revolutionary pamphlet “Common Sense” in 1776.  I guess you could say he helped America bring the Paine to Britain (I’ll see myself out).

NFC North News

I dug my links into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my links into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville linker to both headlights,
linked a hole in all 4 tires…
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.

Former Bear Brian Urlacher hasn't had many nice things to say about his former team since retiring.

Former Bear Brian Urlacher hasn’t had many nice things to say about his former team since retiring.

Chicago Bears

Former linebacker Brian Urlacher continues his vendetta against the franchise that he feels was unfair to him at the end of his career.  This time he praises the offense of new coach Marc Trestman while bashing the defense and accusing the new regime of .  This Bears fan wishes Urlacher would just stop talking about Chicago, but I guess he has a media contract to fulfill.

Backup quarterback Josh McCown plans to play in 2014, and says .  He admits that it is possible he ends up elsewhere, but it sounds like McCown will need more than just a lot of money to leave the team he’s comfortable with.

Detroit Lions

Detroit also finds itself dealing with biting comments from a bitter ex-player.  Former Lion (and current Seattle) Cliff Avril said in the Super Bowl media day that the .  Seattle certainly has more of a winning culture than Detroit does.  Is that what he means by cool?

The , which means not all games will cost the same.  Premier opponents will be more expensive, but one benefit is that preseason games are becoming almost 70% cheaper.  So if you’ve always wanted to see second and third string NFL players duke it out for roster spots, now’s your chance!

New fullback Ina Liaina will have a better chance of making the Packers roster if he changes his bushy hair to cornrows.

New fullback Ina Liaina will have a better chance of making the Packers roster if he changes his bushy hair to cornrows.

Green Bay Packers

The Packers made a personnel move, .  Liaina attended college at San Jose State University and spent part of his rookie season last year with the Miami Dolphins.  Fullback John Kuhn is a free agent, so this might be a move to help make sure the Packers aren’t left out in the cold if Kuhn moves on.

The Packers are going to be for Coca-Cola.  In the ad, a little boy scores a touchdown and runs to Lambeau Field to go celebrate.  Maybe the Packers could use him on their defense next year; he forced more turnovers in 30 seconds than all of their safeties combined in sixteen 2013 games.

Minnesota Vikings

The .  Minnesota hired Kirby Watson from Pittsburgh, who promptly responded by hiring the recently released James Saxon.  Watson gets to coach Adrian Peterson, so I think it’s safe to say he won this swap.

The Vikings, together with the state of Minnesota, are (side note: I think it’s weird that they’re going to start giving the Super Bowls names after doing numbers for so long.  How am I supposed to remember when Super Bowl Li was?).  They hope to have a shiny new dome in place by then, and would like to show it off to the world.  In my opinion, the Vikings should wait until after the stadium is actually finished to submit a bid. Things haven’t exactly gone according to a smooth schedule so far.

New running backs coach INSERT NAME must be jumping for joy at the chance to coach Adrian Peterson (pictured) on the Vikings.

New running backs coach Kirby Watson must be jumping for joy at the chance to coach Adrian Peterson (pictured) on the Vikings.

About the author(s)

Johnathan Wood is a passionate fan of the Chicago Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks, Cubs, and Northwestern Wildcats. He enjoys being the beat writer for the Bears at Water Cooler Sports and being obnoxiously unapologetic about how his favorite teams are more awesome than yours. Feel free to email him at if you have any comments or suggestions. Connect with .

2060 comments
niemerg1
niemerg1

mother fuck, id kill a bitch

mountaineer4life25
mountaineer4life25

Greetings Watercooler Bloggers ...... just realized that the teams are living at the Hyatt in Jersey city which is just 5-6 blocks from my house ...

robertj72
robertj72

Woude (or whomever it may concern) Sorry I just got the GGG published. People are idiots here when it sleets or snows...It has been a busy 2 days for a ton of mindnumbingly dumb reasons.

Eddie Lacy OROY
Eddie Lacy OROY

I recently put synthetic oil in my car that grantees 15k miles.

Should I test it?

Eddie Lacy OROY
Eddie Lacy OROY

 Fuck the rest of the world. 

It's Waldo, damnit. 

Tyga
Tyga

 That's pure evil....

Donny33
Donny33

 hips too big for my liking.  she gonna be a fatass.

G & G
G & G moderator

 I need her name NOW!!!!!

BlutosPackers
BlutosPackers

 OMG! Dude WTF? She has got to be jailbait. 

robertj72
robertj72

Will she call me Uncle Robert?

Donny33
Donny33

 if i get arrested because i clicked that, imma be pissed.

Staffords_Glove
Staffords_Glove

 I do 12k changes. 15 is probably not that bad. Im a worry wart though

Tyga
Tyga

 Go to 20k, just to try it out.

Angry Moon Jesus
Angry Moon Jesus moderator

 Yes. They recommend you push it to the limit.

BlutosPackers
BlutosPackers

 I would grab on with one hand, sock her in the brown eye with my meat rocket while slappin that ass with the other hand and hang on for dear life! Wooohoooo!



Too much?

BlutosPackers
BlutosPackers

 Not me man, I would grab ahold, sink the ole meat rocket through the brown hole, smack that other cheek and enjoy the ride! Wooohoooo.........


Too much?

robertj72
robertj72

Nah she would look good if she didn't vandalize great woman skin with all that graffiti

Tyga
Tyga

Some people like them, some don't. I like them if they are well done and artistic/tasteful. A pot leaf on the asscheek isn't attractive to me at all though.

Staffords_Glove
Staffords_Glove

 Nah but you are the only one that actually believes it

robertj72
robertj72

Yeah because i am the only person that tells you the chicks you dig are men. See below and every other post!

Staffords_Glove
Staffords_Glove

 Thats clear. Also, your knowledge of gender anatomy is terrible

robertj72
robertj72

You keep putting men pics up I will keep mentioning it.