WCS Week 16 Power Rankings: One last shot at glory

By
Updated: December 24, 2013
Santa Ranker helped out this week. Who can argue with her?

Santa Ranker helped out this week. Who can argue with her?

Proctologistics

With one week left to go in the regular season, two playoffs spots remain to be filled.

I know, I know, I know!

In the NFC, three spots do remain open. While this is true, Seattle, Carolina, and San Francisco are in. Two of the remaining spots will be taken by the winners of the NFC North, and NFC East. That leaves one wildcard spot open, and two teams in contention. Without going into all the gory details, the final spot will go to New Orleans or Arizona. How the seeding shakes out, is anybodies guess.

The AFC is all but set. Denver, New England, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis have clenched their divisions. Kansas City, despite going 2-4 in their last six games, have clinched a wildcard spot. That leaves one spot open for Miami, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, or San Diego.

If the past two weeks are any indication, it is more likely that the final spots will be decided by several teams crapping their pants, rather than any team stepping up to claim the prize.

You said it

50CalibuFalconoles:  I would have to say other than my own articles the Power Rankings are the most entertaining.

JJ: Very kind of you, sir. What is it you write, again?

Preperation_A:  SF #2, huh?

JJ: Good call! Looks like I should have had them at #1.

Kauto Face: One thing that is a cold hard fact. The Lions pissing away golden opportunities has become so commonplace that none of the excuses have any meaning any more.

JJ: I couldn’t have said it any better myself.

Who’s hot

Carolina Panthers. The Panthers, winners of ten of their last eleven games, have taken the lead of their division, and can lock up the number two seed with a win at Atlanta this weekend.

Who’s not

Detroit Lions. The Lions are eliminated from playoff contention, after another sub par performance.

Honorable mention

Arizona Cardinals. They have served notice that the Seattle Seahawks are not invincible at home. Win or lose this weekend, The Cardinals have been one of this years most impressive teams.

Happy Holidays

I’d like to wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season. I’m a little nervous that it’s Christmas eve, and nothing has arrived, but I can’t wait to see what you all got me!

It’s time to rank ’em and spank ’em!

Week 16 Power Rankings

Rank
(Previous)
Team
Record
Comments
1
(2)
San Francisco 49ers 11-4 Now that Kaepernick has Crabtree instead of just crabs, he seems to be doing better.
2
(3)
Carolina Panthers 11-4 If it looks like number two, and it smells like number two, it must be number two.
3
(1)
Seattle Seahawks 12-3 Brilliant strategy! Let everyone know you can be beaten at home right before the playoffs start.
4
(5)
Denver Broncos 12-3 Congratulations to Peyton Manning for breaking the single season touchdown mark, at 51.
5
(6)
New England Patriots 11-4 Every time I write you jackwagons off, you come back with an impressive win.
6
(9)
Cincinnati Bengals 10-5 Don't worry, the guilt will wear off. Everybody who has beaten the Texans this year, feels like they just kicked a puppy.
7
(4)
Kansas City Chiefs 11-4 Andy Reid's personal goal of making coach of the year is slipping away.
8
(10)
Arizona Cardinals 10-5 Personally, I think if you win this week, the NFC North, and NFC East should flip a coin to see who has to give up their playoff spot.
9
(8)
New Orleans Saints 10-5 How ironic. You've been loving Atlanta's misfortune all year long, and now you need the Falcons to win, or you'll start the playoffs on the road.
10
(14)
Indianapolis Colts 10-5 You've beaten San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, and Kansas City. Can you string three of those together? It would take a little luck, but the one you have is a big fucker. Follow my logic? You're screwed.
12
(15)
Philadelphia Eagles 9-6 If you lose to Kyle Orton, I will probably devote the entire article to you next week.
13
(11)
Miami Dolphins 8-7 Playoffs are still in your control. Don't pull an LOLions.
13
(7)
Baltimore Ravens 8-7 I hope you all took morning after pills, or you're going to have a bunch of Patriot baby's.
14
(12)
Chicago Bears 8-7 I would like to see the entire team on the physically unable to perform list. I don't see how anyone could argue against it.
15
(16)
San Diego Chargers 8-7 SO, YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S STILL A CHANCE???!!!
16
(17)
Pittsburgh Steelers 7-8 Thank you for beating the Packers.
17
(19)
Dallas Cowboys 8-7 With Romo out, you just might have a chance. In Neckbeard we trust!
18
(13)
Green Bay Packers 7-7-1 Look at the bright side, the only thing standing between you and the playoffs are the Bears.
19
(20)
Saint Louis Rams 7-8 Too little, too late.
20
(21)
New York Jets 7-8 I checked into it, and you are not required to accept the foot massage from Rex Ryan, but hey, it couldn't hurt.
21
(24)
Buffalo Bills 6-9 Was "spoilers" your goal at the beginning of the season?
22
(26)
New York Giants 6-9 The Lions with their playoff hopes on the line; The gift that keeps on giving.
23
(27)
Tennessee Titans 6-9 There is no prize for winning six games, but if you win seven...oh, nevermind. You're still screwed.
24
(18)
Detroit Lions 7-8 Sorry, you're stuck with Mathew Romoford.
25
(22)
Minnesota Vikings 4-10-1 Giants and Jets will back me up. It's soooo much better losing in a new stadium.
26
(23)
Jacksonville Jaguars 4-11 Good news is, you'll be in Jacksonville in January. Think of how bad it would suck to be Buffalo or Minneapolis.
27
(25)
Tampa Bay Bucaneers 4-11 At least you got rid of Shit-ano! AMIRITE!
28
(28)
Atlanta Falcons 4-11 DON'T GIVE UP! You still have one more chance to stick it to the Saints. Of course, this would require you to lose. YOU CAN DO IT!
29
(29)
Oakland Raiders 4-11 Don't listen to all the BS Terell Pryor's agent is spouting about you setting him up for failure this week. You set him up to fail when you drafted him.
30
(30)
Cleveland Browns 4-11 Cheer up. Next week, I invert the rankings for all the non-playoff teams. You're due for a handsome jump.
31
(31)
Houston Texans 2-13 Why is everybody on your message boards talking about the draft.
Ha! Just kidding.
32
(32)
Washington Redskins 3-12 I never met an ugly baby that didn't have ugly parents. Just saying.

About the author(s)

Ejected from a dry, desolate womb, Power Ranker John Jedlicka was thrust into this angry universe against his will, and better judgement. Armed with the knowledge of good, and the power of right, John has made it his sole mission to level fools with his arsenal of truth, and soften the blow of the harsh realities of this cruel world on the meek minded. Feel free to contact him at with praise, ridicule, or requests for clarification. Connect with

1724 comments
He's a Bad 'Bama Hamma'
He's a Bad 'Bama Hamma'

At this point, I want to be lied to / misled.

.

I hope they announce Flynn as the starter, but don't deactivate ARodge.  If the Pack gets behind.... even a single point, I hope that ARodge takes over.


niemerg1
niemerg1

the first godfather is the fucking shit. don't ever knock it again. ever

Staffords_Glove
Staffords_Glove

Going into Hutson Center for practice. Team rules dictate no Tweets 'til media viewing session ends. updates after.

gatrbuc17
gatrbuc17 moderator

"However, the Buccaneers (4-11) would love to end their season on a high note by playing spoiler against their NFC South rivals inside the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. The Bucs have a history of doing that, with December wins at New Orleans in 2009 and 2010. "


So if we somehow pull it off this Sunday then the Saints go home and Three Quarters of the NFCW is in the playoffs.

Chicka approves this message

tmonson78
tmonson78 moderator

Is rourke around to publish any articles?

thenichels
thenichels

Best mafia movie: "Goodfellas"


That's right, fuck The Godfather

thenichels
thenichels

 None of them had the combination of DeNiro, Liotta and Pesci.  Fail.

Donny33
Donny33

i  love gangster/mob flicks but have never gotten through that movie. it's kinda slow.

Staffords_Glove
Staffords_Glove

Most everyone here will tell you shes gross b/c those arent real. 

LaCW
LaCW

 I hope the Seahawks and Cards lose or the Saints and 49ers lose

cd me
cd me

he is in Iowa

niemerg1
niemerg1

 i can if no one else can

bp.
bp. moderator

 Goodfellas is great, and has some of the best dialogue ever in a movie.  But the end is week, and on the whole it is too cartoony to take over the mantle from something like The Godfather.

niemerg1
niemerg1

 the first is the best one thought...but i like all three too

Bucs are the greatest
Bucs are the greatest moderator

 

She's also gross because she looks like she probably has the gonorrhea.

gatrbuc17
gatrbuc17 moderator

I  want to see what her Ass looks like

tmonson78
tmonson78 moderator

I was just wondering if it was happening. I did a placement holder for Nailed it this week, and it's ready to go.

niemerg1
niemerg1

 is that the one with De Niro coming back to his hometown after being away for a long time?

SCHIANO HAS TO GO
SCHIANO HAS TO GO

   awesome. got a Buc lamp and a toater that toast the Buccaneer emblem im the toast

gatrbuc17
gatrbuc17 moderator

 A little sore from so much snowmobiling

gatrbuc17
gatrbuc17 moderator

GR EAT BRO how bout yours?

tmonson78
tmonson78 moderator

 I can too, was just wondering if there was anything else.