WCS Week 14 Power Rankings: Records fall like ball gowns

By
Updated: December 11, 2013

The Seattle Seahawks are gliding atop the Water Cooler Sports Power Rankings in Week 14.

Proctologistics

What a wild week in the NFL!

Nasty weather, wild finishes, and some questionable officiating made for some interesting games.

There were at least three records set in Week 14.

The first was five touchdowns scored in a record time of two minutes and one second, by Minnesota and Baltimore. If you haven’t seen the highlights, you can . The Ravens ended up carrying the day, but even Vikings fans had to enjoy the thrilling action.

The second record was in scoring. Win or lose, all NFL fans can pat themselves on the back. This weekend saw the most touchdowns scored (104) and the most points scored (859) in any single week in .

The final and most impressive record belongs to an individual.

Denver Broncos kicker . His 64-yard field goal to close out the first half broke the previous record of 63 yards held by New Orleans Saints kicker Jack Dempsey since November 8, 1970 subsequently equaled by Jason Elam, Sebastian Janikowski, and David Akers.

Four of those five field goals were kicked at Mile High Stadium in Denver, but what makes Prater’s record special, aside from the distance, is the fact that the temperature was 18 degrees at kickoff, significantly reducing the impact of the altitude.

In the category of wild finishes you may want to check out the New England Patriots’  – or the near miracle in Pittsburgh, where the Steelers navigated five laterals to come up just short as Antonio Brown stepped out of bounds on what would have been the game- winning touchdown.

Finally, we couldn’t call ourselves true fans if we didn’t bitch about the officials. In Week 14, a trio of bad calls marred an otherwise exciting weekend.

One of the calls, a phantom pass interference call in the Patriots game, may have affected the final outcome. Perhaps the referees were just making up for the non-call that cost the Patriots a chance to win game against the Carolina Panthers in Week 11.

In any case, if you want to get your blood boiling, check out , which details all three calls.

Not to drag up bad memories, but . . .

In the Week 1 match-up between Green Bay and San Francisco, officials made a . The error allowed the 49ers to score a touchdown rather than settling for a field goal. That represented a four-point swing in a game ultimately decided by six points.

There is no way to measure how this call affected the momentum, or whether it would have changed the final result, but there is a huge difference between maneuvering for a field goal to win the game and needing a touchdown to tie.

Officials are human, and they will make mistakes, but wouldn’t it be nice if they had the opportunities to correct their errors rather than affecting games and even season results?  There is no reason the NFL couldn’t expand the use of instant replay to review certain penalties or consult rules officials on difficult calls.

You said it

Kuato Face:  Finally, the Bears are where they should be.

Maized and Confused:  BEARS TOO- Actually, no, that’s just about right.

JJ: Thank you for pointing that out. I must be slipping.

Maized and Confused:  I think the place you put the Redskins is racist, and I demand restitution!

JJ: Let’s just call the 32nd spot “The Reservation.”

Who’s hot

Jacksonville Jaguars. After beating them down so long, it’s time to give them some props. The Jaguars share the AFC’s longest winning streak after winning their last three games.

Who’s not

Detroit Lions. Haven’t your fans suffered long enough?

Honorable mention

Kansas City Chiefs. Coming off a two-win season, this must feel like heaven.

It’s time to rank ’em and spank ’em!

Week 14 Power Rankings

Ranking
(Previous)
Team Record Comments
1
(1)
Seattle Seahawks 11-2 There's no place like home, but I'm sure the Giants will make you feel welcome.
2
(4)
Denver Broncos 11-2 Congratulations to Matt Prater for his record-setting 64-yard field goal.
3
(3)
New England Patriots 10-3 Do I hear the Beatles?
"We get by with a little help from the refs."
4
(6)
San Francisco 49ers 9-4 I guess we can take Frank Gore's picture off the milk carton now.
5
(2)
Carolina Panthers 9-4 There's a good chance you hold this spot just to piss off a certain fan base.
6
(5)
New Orleans Saints 10-3 Who Dat ranked behind the Panthers?
7
(7)
Cincinnati Bengals 9-4 Thank God for sidelines.
8
(8)
Kansas City Chiefs 10-3 Nothing like a dose of the NFC East to cure your ills.
9
(10)
Philadelphia Eagles 8-5 You should consider snow machines for your games in September.
10
(11)
Baltimore Ravens 7-6 It's okay. You can quit scoring. The Vikings have gone home.
11
(14)
Arizona Cardinals 8-5 What do you think? 8-8? I'm thinking 8-8.
12
(15)
Miami Dolphins 7-6 If there was ever a case for "addition by subtraction" . . .
13
(20)
Chicago Bears 7-6 "Player of the week, my ass!" --Jay Cutler
14
(21)
Green Bay Packers 6-6-1 "No way a collarbone keeps me out this long." --Brett Favre
15
(9)
Indianapolis Colts 8-5 Luck will only take you so far.
16
(13)
Detroit Lions 7-6 Slip sliding away
Slip sliding away
You know the nearer you get to playoffs,
The more they're slip sliding away.
17
(12)
Dallas Cowboys 7-6 Now that the Pope has been named Times Man of the Year, Jerry Jones can get back to concentrating on destroying his team.
18
(22)
New York Jets 6-7 Why don't you have a coaching controversy again?
19
(23)
San Diego Chargers 6-7 I bet if you called Kansas City, you could have a good laugh about the NFC East.
20
(16)
Pittsburgh Steelers 5-8
How do you lose to Miami in the snow?
21
(30)
Jacksonville Jaguars 4-9 Beating the Texans is kind of like beating yourselves last year. You're pretty good at whacking off.
22
(24)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-9 You don't have to worry about Mike Glennon getting distracted by any modeling gigs.
23
(17)
New York Giants 5-8 So much for that late-season run.
24
(18)
Tennessee Titans 5-8 "Thank you for expressing your interest in Jay Cutler." --Josh McCown
25
(19)`
St. Louis Rams 5-8 Did you realize the Cardinals hadn't beaten an NFC West opponent in eight games? I guess it doesn't matter now.
26
(25)
Minnesota Vikings 3-9-1 01:27 We won!
01:16 We lost
00:45 We won!!
00:04 WE SUCK!!!
27
(26)
Buffalo Bills 4-9 "Thank you for helping to save Greg Schiano's job." --Every NFL fan outside of Tampa.
28
(27)
Oakland Raiders 4-9 You don't travel very well.
29
(28)
Cleveland Browns 4-9 That was an exciting loss!
30
(29)
Atlanta Falcons 3-10 Bad news. Robert Griffin III has been benched.
31
(32)
Houston Texans 2-11 You move up a spot for being the first franchise to admit it's time to work on next season.
32
(31)
Washington Redskins 3-10 You make the Cowboys look like a happy family.

About the author(s)

Ejected from a dry, desolate womb, Power Ranker John Jedlicka was thrust into this angry universe against his will, and better judgement. Armed with the knowledge of good, and the power of right, John has made it his sole mission to level fools with his arsenal of truth, and soften the blow of the harsh realities of this cruel world on the meek minded. Feel free to contact him at with praise, ridicule, or requests for clarification. Connect with

597 comments
robertj72
robertj72

My team is the #1 scoring D in the NFL, is ranked in top 5 in virtually every defensive category and I will not sit here and tell you that any player is going to win DPOY or DROY. 

NST clearly is homering it up tonight with her guys. Saints, Seattle, Carolina and Buff all have guys better than any for DROY and DPOY.

NightStalkerThief
NightStalkerThief

I hate how my feet are always cold. They're like little ice cubes

8P
8P moderator

I am starting to grudgingly think that the Badgers have a really good basketball team, and that I will have to apologize to Bo Ryan.

But the sweet sixteen is likely to save me.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan moderator

Time to bowl.

I'm looking forward to the updated NFCN standings Monday night.

1. Bears 8-6

2. Packers 7-6-1

3. Lions 7-7

8P
8P moderator

Maybe Alex Smith should be comeback player of the year.

Donny33
Donny33

it's nice that we are all in agreement that Lacy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> AP

8P
8P moderator

My mother in law just wrote an email to my wife, and to me, asking what I want for Christmas.

FUCK I HAT THIS SHIT

8P
8P moderator

Eddie Lacy >>>>> Zac Stacy and Giovoninoinsse Bernard and you can't tell me otherwise.

*plus ears*

na na na na na nananananananananananananananaaaaaaaa

MNvikeinNC
MNvikeinNC

I watched the Badgers vs. Virginia.

I thought first to 20 points was going to win.

G & G
G & G moderator

Never forget

MNvikeinNC
MNvikeinNC

When AD has a broken foot, maybe.

8P
8P moderator

I just wonder when his statue is going up next to Vince and Curly.

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

A time machine and something to shoot Shea McClellin with.

Donny33
Donny33

Audi R8. boom. done.

robertj72
robertj72

write back a new car...must have the giant bow on top.

robertj72
robertj72

I agree. But I think Keenan wins it.

Donny33
Donny33

never forget, nelson mandela was an asshole.

robertj72
robertj72

That is what the voters said too.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan moderator

*next to Vince's curlies.

8P
8P moderator

I'm a gun owner already.

'Murica.

8P
8P moderator

oops.  *puss

SDL
SDL

Sure, but you know what they say:

.

Wrongly imprisoned for ~ 3 decades, first black pres of So. Africa, Nobel Peace Prize winner, 

.

.

... but cold feet

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

Doug Martin did it last year. Trent Richardson was 50 yards away. 

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

last 1k rookie receiver was AJ Green.

Then Anquan Boldin, I believe.

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

And he didn't even play the first 4 games.

Niners_Never_Die
Niners_Never_Die

Oh 1 game vs 2 games... they are both deserving, but one is a packer, so I will not be able to persuade you.

Building With Clay is back SON
Building With Clay is back SON

Don't know.

I know Lacy is the only rookie who will hit the 1000 yard rushing mark this season.

Did any do it last season?

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

what's more common: 1k rusher as rookie or 1k receiver as rookie?

Niners_Never_Die
Niners_Never_Die

  Keenan missed time as well.Plus he didn't start the first few games either.