WCS Week 10 Power Rankings: 2008 Lions are popping corks!

By
Updated: November 13, 2013

The Minnesota Vikings made the Washington Redskins look like a bunch of cripples on Thursday Night Football. Was that insensitive of me to say?

Proctologistics

Some weeks just leave us scratching our balls — er, heads.

To start off the festivities, the Minnesota Vikings shocked us on Thursday night, not just by winning, but by how they won. They came out on top of a high-scoring affair — on the shoulder of Christian Ponder no less.

Then there were the Saint Louis Rams, who traveled to Lucas Oil Stadium and stomped the favored Indianapolis Colts. I hope they called them the next morning.

On top of that, both 0-8 teams, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Jacksonville Jaguars, grabbed their first wins of the season.

Perhaps the most shocking victory was by the Carolina Panthers, who defeated the San Francisco 49ers in Candlestick Park.

Aside from the hilarity of the upsets, these games are the spoilers that throw all sorts of wrenches into the playoff picture.

Ten weeks into the season, we don’t have a single division decided, and the Wild Card picture is becoming cloudier by the minute. Detroit, Seattle, and New Orleans control their destinies. Kansas City and Denver appear to be locks. Carolina has made an impressive surge.

Meanwhile Houston, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, and Jacksonville are battling for the number one draft spot. Twenty-two other teams aren’t sure whether they need to fire their head coach, slit their wrists, or start buying blocks of playoff tickets . . . just in case.

You said it

RAJI: These rankings suck worse than Seneca Wallace and Tramon Williams combined.

JJ: Care to reconsider?

Evil Donkey: I stopped at the Bears above the Lions.

JJ: Where did you stop this week?

Who’s hot

I’m sticking with Carolina. I’m old school.  I still believe that defense can win championships.

Who’s not

The Colts are starting to look like poop.

Honorable mention

The Detroit Lions seized control of the crippled NFC North.

It’s time to rank ’em and spank ’em!

Week 10 Power Rankings

Rank
(Previous)
Team Record Comments
1
(1)
Kansas City Chiefs 9-0 Make sure you wear your big-boy pants on Sunday.
2
(2)
Denver Broncos 8-1 Your season is hobbling on a bad pair of ankles.
3
(5)
Seattle Seahawks 9-1 I would sit your corners and start extra defensive linemen this week.
4
(4)
New England Patriots 7-2 Enjoy your bye. I expect you to fall to Carolina this weekend.
5
(7)
New Orleans Saints 7-2 I thoroughly enjoyed you waxing the Cowboys; however, I would have enjoyed it just as much if they had kicked your ass.
6
(8)
Carolina Panthers 6-3 Impressive win.
7
(3)
Indianapolis Colts 6-3 You're starting to look like an 8-8 team.
8
(6)
San Francisco 49ers 6-3 Somewhere in Kansas, Alex Smith is smiling.
9
(10)
Detroit Lions 6-3 Jay Cutler and Aaron Rodgers are out, and you have easiest schedule in the division. It's going to be fun watching you implode.
10
(9)
Chicago Bears 5-4 You're way too high.
11
(11)
Cincinnati Bengals 6-4 Too bad you lost Geno Atkins instead of Andy Dalton.
12
(16)
Arizona Cardinals 5-4 Please lose to the Jags, so I can move you back where you belong.
13
(15)
Philadelphia Eagles 5-5 You're not here because you beat an injury-riddled Packer team. You're here because your division is hot garbage.
14
(14)
New York Jets 5-4 Saved by the bye.
15
(13)
Dallas Cowboys 5-5 You gave up 625 yards and 40 first downs. I'm trying to think of a word for "shit" that is shittier than shit. Scheiße!
16
(12)
Green Bay Packers 5-4 I'm counting on Aaron Rodgers coming back, because without him, you're Jacksonville North.
17
(22)
Baltimore Ravens 4-5 Piece of advice: you can't stop Josh McCown; you can only hope to contain him.
18
(18)
Cleveland Browns 4-5 Only you could turn the bye into a trap week.
19
(17)
San Diego Chargers 4-5 It has to be a difficult time, coming up on the anniversary of Lennay Kekua's death.
20
(19)
Miami Dolphins 4-5 The 2008 Lions Reunion Committee is shipping you a case of flat Amstel Lite. Enjoy.
21
(20)
Tennessee Titans 4-5 It's a case of O'Doul's for you.
22
(21)
Buffalo Bills 3-7 Where is Buffalo anyway? You're kind of near Niagara Falls, aren't you?
23
(25)
St. Louis Rams 4-6 Where in the hell did that come from?
24
(27)
Pittsburgh Steelers 3-6 Since you seem to randomly pick games to win, could I request Week 11 vs. Detroit, and Week 16 @ Green Bay?
25
(23)
Washington Redskins 3-6 Don't fire Mike Shanahan. He'll go back to child molesting.
26
(24)
Oakland Raiders 3-6 You're actually one of those teams that make football better when you're relevant. Get your head out of your ass!
27
(28)
New York Giants 3-6 8-8 takes your division. Just saying.
28
(26)
Atlanta Falcons 2-7 I feel your pain. Wait, no, I don't. Haha!
29
(30)
Minnesota Vikings 2-7 You really need to start thinking about the draft.
30
(29)
Houston Texans 2-7 By far, the most disappointing team this season.
31
(31)
Tampa Bay Buccanneers 1-8 Nice win, Brojangles.
32
(32)
Jacksonville Jaguars 1-8 You almost moved up a spot. Damn Bucs!

About the author(s)

Ejected from a dry, desolate womb, Power Ranker John Jedlicka was thrust into this angry universe against his will, and better judgement. Armed with the knowledge of good, and the power of right, John has made it his sole mission to level fools with his arsenal of truth, and soften the blow of the harsh realities of this cruel world on the meek minded. Feel free to contact him at with praise, ridicule, or requests for clarification. Connect with

840 comments
Buhlitz
Buhlitz

SandmanLions @Sandman7773

FUN NFL FACT! Titus Young has been to more Playoff games than Brandon Marshall.

Reginald Hopelessness
Reginald Hopelessness moderator

Haha this Clayton's Mailbag question. People act like RBs are valuable these days.


"Q: Given Mike Shanahan's penchant for finding late-round running backs, what do you think ' trade value is? I know we're past the deadline, but maybe an offseason trade could be in the works. Also, any chance Shanahan could swindle an RB for a great CB (like he did with Bailey for )? I'm thinking , or ."

Home of the Braves
Home of the Braves moderator

I checked my stats and have concluded that you guys are racists. 

LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

Now that I have checked out my stats, I have noticed I don't have a lot of comments.  You people need to help me post some!  Get moving!

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

There should be separate column for Rourke likes. I think I have 2 in my life. I would have 3 be he told me that he already liked something that day so I couldn't have it.

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

lions will have 3-4 years of elite oline play until they have to sign them all.. which will be too expensive

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

Maized has a little over 57,000 comments. That's crazy. I'm just about to hit 20,000. 

bp.
bp. moderator

 Pointy-eared freak!

LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

 Your performance would have improved had it not been for the glove.

G & G
G & G moderator

 And visited more jails than a prostitute

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

 They've won the same amount though, right?

bp.
bp. moderator

 Quit having such a life.

AndyCunt445
AndyCunt445

 should have a separate column for prep likes also.  those are like banging the drunkest chick at a frat party.  

G & G
G & G moderator

 Rourke's likes are like healthy Packers players

G & G
G & G moderator

 10.000 for me...

Now I feel bad

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

 

prep beats him I think

Rourke
Rourke

Welcome to Lothlórien, my lord.

bp.
bp. moderator

 You have more comments than me.  And this started as an NFCN blog.

Maized and Confused
Maized and Confused

Brandon Marshall has been embarrassed in less playoff games, though.

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

 WHAAAT? What they heck are you doing to deserve that? 

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

  

2nd best in the league.. just barely behind Denver

BearsSaveLives
BearsSaveLives moderator

 You have almost has many likes as comments. So, that's impressive.

AndyCunt445
AndyCunt445

  i was thinking the same thing.  

Donny33
Donny33

  okay.  another thing.  it's not a given... look at the vikings great oline play last season.  Where are they now?  Same players...

G & G
G & G moderator

  You are very kind, Mr Luke!

LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

  Damn!  You made me look at my totals and you both shame me!