WCS Week 9 Power Rankings: A league in turmoil

By
Updated: November 6, 2013

It’s always unfortunate when the biggest stories of the week have nothing to do with action on the field, as was the case in Week 9.

Proctologistics

I apologize for any delay or lack of humor in the Week 9 Power Rankings, but I was knocked out for two days with a nasty cold.

The week started with an upset in Miami, as the Dolphins took down the Cincinnati Bengals by a score of 22-20. The week ended with an upset in Green Bay, with the Chicago Bears taking down the Packers by a score of 27- 20.

Oddly enough, the biggest stories of the week came out of Miami and Green Bay — and had little to do with the action on the field.

The story out of Miami is ugly, and it transcends football. It is a story about racism and harassment in the work place. Richie Incognito was suspended by the Dolphins after information surfaced that he had sent harassing texts to fellow offensive lineman Jonathan Martin. There is no need for me to go into details, as I am sure you will be inundated with every angle of this story in the weeks to come

The story out of Green Bay is, of course, there lack of anything resembling a defense.

Wait. Scratch that.

The big story out of Green Bay is the loss of All-Universe quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Early in the first quarter, as he scrambled to his right, he was taken down hard by Chicago Bears defensive end Shea McClellin. The severity of injury and the length of the recovery, will probably not be known for a while.

One thing we can say is that the loss to the Bears on Monday, along with any lengthy injury to Rodgers, will have an impact on the NFC playoff picture.

You said it

LKP: Carolina loses the next 4 games. Book it.

JJ: Care to reconsider?

SDL: Any chance SlapNutz will be ready for Mon Night?  I’m really gonna miss all his INTs if he’s still rehabbing his labia.

JJ: Perhaps his labia and Aaron’s shoulder will be rehabbed by Week 17.

Who’s hot

Say it with me, LKP: Carolina!

Who’s not

Trolls. This season is throwing them off their game, with all its twists and turns and what not.

Honorable mention

Cleveland Browns. You’ve got to love a team that won’t quit even after their management has.

It’s time to rank ‘em and spank ‘em!

Week 9 Power Rankings

 

Rank
(Previous)
Team Record Comments
1
(1)
Kansas City Chiefs 9-0 I'm not even sure you're the best team in your division, but I can't argue with winning.
2
(2)
Denver Broncos 7-1 Sucks losing ground on your week off.
3
(3)
Indianapolis Colts 6-2 You got grit.
4
(7)
New England Patriots 7-2 Picking on Pittsburgh is kinda fun.
5
(4)
Seattle Seahawks 8-1 You seem to find annoying ways to win.
6
(6)
San Fransisco 49ers 6-2 You had a bye. And nobody missed you.
7
(5)
New Orleans Saints 6-2 The Saints still suck!
8
(11)
Carolina Panthers 5-3 Looking good, but you have a tough road ahead.
9
(12)
Chicago Bears 5-3 Looks like Josh McCown may be the real deal.
10
(10)
Detroit Lions 5-3 I'm taking into account next week's loss.
11
(8)
Cincinnati Bengals 6-3 Don't you wish you had Miami next week?
12
(9)
Green Bay Packers 5-3 How can you lose to the Bears?
13
(14)
Dallas Cowboys 5-4 Man, you really spanked those Vikes!
14
(15)
New York Jets 5-4 Thank you.
15
(17)
Philadelphia Eagles 4-5 Plot twist: You have to game plan for Seneca Wallace.
16
(16)
Arizona Cardinals 4-4 A week off never hurts.
17
(13)
San Diego Chargers 4-4 Derp!
18
(19)
Cleveland Browns 4-5 I like a team that has some fight in them.
19
(21)
Miami Dolphins 4-4 in·cog·ni·to [in-kog-nee-toh, in-kog-ni-toh]
adjective
1.
having one's identity concealed, as under an assumed name, especially to avoid notice or formal attentions.


The irony is so thick I could cut it with a knife!
20
(23)
Tennessee Titans 4-4 Congrats! You're out of the bottom third of the league.
21
(18)
Buffalo Bills 3-6 If you were my team, I would have shot myself by now.
22
(20)
Baltimore Ravens 3-5 We can't all beat the Browns.
23
(24)
Washington Redskins 3-5 Don't give up. Somebody has to win your pathetic division.
24
(23)
Oakland Raiders 3-5 Way to entertain the home crowd.
25
(25)
St. Louis Rams 3-6 It's just not your year.
26
(26)
Atlanta Falcons 2-6 You're the best 2-6 team out there.
27
(27)
Pittsburgh Steelers 2-6 The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
28
(28)
New York Giants 2-6 If anyone could find a way to lose on their bye . . .
29
(29)
Houston Texans 2-6 I hope your coach is doing better.
30
(30)
Minnesota Vikings 1-7 I probably would have bumped you up five spots if you could have screwed Dallas.
31
(31)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-8 You had those bastards!
32
(32)
Jacksonville Jaguars 0-8 Hey, at least you didn't lose this week.

About the author(s)

Ejected from a dry, desolate womb, Power Ranker John Jedlicka was thrust into this angry universe against his will, and better judgement. Armed with the knowledge of good, and the power of right, John has made it his sole mission to level fools with his arsenal of truth, and soften the blow of the harsh realities of this cruel world on the meek minded. Feel free to contact him at with praise, ridicule, or requests for clarification. Connect with

1085 comments
jmac3444
jmac3444

Green Bay Packers @packers

The Packers have signed QB Scott Tolzien to the active roster and added WR Alex Gillett to the practice squad:

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

suh wants to play vs cutler lol

Home of the Braves
Home of the Braves moderator

Have y'all read the comments about the Martin/Incognito story on ESPN? 

I'm SDL, you twits
I'm SDL, you twits

.

Just so all you schadenfreude-ing ass munchers know:

.

I will laugh my ass of if any one, or any combination, of the following comes to pass:

1.  The Packers manage a win - or three - w/o ARodge

2.  ARodge comes back in 2-3 weeks instead of 4-6 all the "I practice medicine based on my access to Google" armchair cunt prognosticators are reporting / predicting / hoping for

3.  Da Bearss and the LOLoins tank during ARodge's absence

4.  The Packers make the playoffs

.

GOVERN YOUR MISERABLE ALSO RAN GUPPY ASSES ACCORDINGLY.


EthanLet
EthanLet

i feel like this gif represents the packers season the best.  bald dude had to have fucked up his shoulder.


MIBearFan
MIBearFan moderator

This seems like an appropriate Packers gif.


LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

MaC, are you going to add words to this that I now call the PACKERS 2013?  So many jerky chances to right the ship but alas...

jmac3444
jmac3444

 odds he goes charles martin on cutler's ass and is suspended for the remainder of the year?

sgunderson17
sgunderson17

 I have a feeling if the Packers make the playoffs, they go deep. 

Just gotta get there. 


MIBearFan
MIBearFan moderator

 

We would expect nothing less.

Maized and Confused
Maized and Confused

Watch a different person's reaction every time. It's very entertaining.

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

 

they may be a train wreck but they're a first place train wreck unlike the other 3 loser teams in the NFCN

LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

 If only the coach worked 101 hours....could have made it.

JVince 11
JVince 11

 that is a perfect gif of the 2013 Packers season so far...

Maized and Confused
Maized and Confused

I will wait for a few more games before taking the time out of my procrastinations to photoshop dis.

JVince 11
JVince 11

 Gillett was the QB at EMU that we converted to WR

EthanLet
EthanLet

now he can't even sign his own checks

EthanLet
EthanLet

the waves represent the training staff. 

Preparation_A
Preparation_A moderator

   

I HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS

MIBearFan
MIBearFan moderator

  

You want to edit the damn thing?

I'm SDL, you twits
I'm SDL, you twits

  

C'Mon Man... you're not Skill Pack Suhpid, are you?

The LOLoins are in a three way tie and down a tie-breaker to the Packers

Suck it, guppy!

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

 

yet you made a 2013 lions gif before the season even started, what a homer douchebag

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

   

1st place in NFCN lions

Buhlitz
Buhlitz

   

I don't have a social studies class

LambeauOrWrigley
LambeauOrWrigley

  Please...they never got on the highway!  Died on the on-ramp.