WCSN Week 12 Power Rankings

By
Updated: November 28, 2012

So you think you can rank teams better than Water Cooler Sports power ranker John Jedlicka? Time to take your lumps, chumps.

Proctologistics

With 11 games under their belts, Houston and Atlanta continue to win, all but ensuring themselves a spot in the playoffs. They hardly look like the best teams, however. That honor would have to go to the New England Patriots in the AFC and the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC. These two teams have begun to string together some impressive victories.

Baltimore and Denver have separated themselves from the rest of their divisions, mostly due to the fact that the rest of their divisions suck. In Pittsburgh’s defense, the loss of Ben Roethlisberger couldn’t have come at a worse time.

Chicago and Green Bay can’t seem to decide who wants to win the division. The NFC North has changed hands for the second time in as many weeks. My guess is that it will be decided when the two teams meet in Week 15.

One team that has quietly gone about their business is the Indianapolis Colts. It hasn’t always been pretty, but whatever they’re doing seems to be effective. Oh, by the way, it looks like somebody woke a sleeping Giant just in time for a playoff run.

The rest of the league is a flippin’ mess. The Seattle Seahawks can’t find a way to win on the road. Dallas, Washington, Tampa, and New Orleans can’t get any traction. The same could be said for Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and Miami. Unless we witness a major collapse, there are five weeks left to settle two wild card spots. Who’s going to step up and claim them? Personally, I have my eyes on Washington and Buffalo.

You said it

This week we have a trio of quotes from our regulars, who think they have a better handle on the rankings than me.

LionsKillPack said, “Detroit should be 18th at least.”

AllSaintRow felt the need to share: “It makes me feel special in my pants that my Saints are above 4 teams with better records.”

LaCWrestler felt the “Pack should be ranked above the Ravens and Texans.”

Sadly, kids, your teams let you down. It turns out these rankings are a tricky business best left to the adults.

Who’s Hot

Congratulations to the New York Giants and Chicago Bears for convincing wins at home. Congratulations are also in order for this week’s Road Warriors, the New England Patriots and the San Francisco 49ers.

Honorable mention

Indianapolis Colts Andrew Luck tied Sam Bradford’s record for the number of wins by a rookie, and it’s a good bet that he will surpass that and get his team to the playoffs.

On the move

This week’s winners, all up four spots, are: Indianapolis, Cincinnati, and Miami. Trending down are Green Bay and Minnesota (down three), Seattle (down four), and the biggest loser of all, the New Orleans Saints (down seven).

It’s time to rank ‘em and spank ‘em!

Week 12 Power Rankings

Rank
(Previous)
Team Record Comments
1
(1)
San Francisco 49ers 8-2-1 Jim Harbaugh is coaching like the 49ers like they're a fantasy team . . . and it's working.
2
(2)
New England Patriots 8-3 They've scored 108 points in the past two weeks. 108 points in two weeks! Oh, and their defense and special teams have played a large part.
3
(3)
Houston Texans 10-1 They've gone to overtime two weeks in a row with teams who have no shot at the playoffs, but hey, they keep winning.
4
(4)
Atlanta Falcons 10-1 Another nail-biting win, but beating the Bucs in Tampa is big, and it got them to that magical 10-win mark.
5
(5)
Baltimore Ravens 9-2 Quarterback Joe Flacco went out to San Diego and out drepped Phillip Rivers. Well done, sir!
6
(7)
Denver Broncos 8-3 This is working out so well, Colorado is thinking of legalizing crack next year!
7
(12)
New York Giants 7-4 Why, you sneaky little suckers. I see what you're doing.
8
(8)
Chicago Bears 8-3 You know it's bad on the offensive line when quarterback Jay Cutler is sucking up to J'Marcus Webb and tying his shoes.
9
(6)
Green Bay Packers 7-4 Death knell or wakeup call The Giants put a beatdown on Green Bay. I can tell you this: I wouldn't want to be the Vikings this weekend.
10
(14)
Indianapolis Colts 7-4 Winning helps take the edge off of living in Indian-freaking-apolis!
11
(10)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-5 Just so you know, beating Atlanta at home is the type of game you need to win if you want to make the playoffs.
12
(16)
Cincinnati Bengals 6-5 The door is open. Wadda ya got?
13
(9)
Seattle Seahawks 6-5 Win on the damn road. Okay? I'm tired of talking about this. At best, you'll be a Wild Card team. Guess what? Wild Card teams play on the road!
14
(13)
Washington Redskins 5-6 An upset this coming weekend against the Giants would pretty much make the Redskins the favorite to grab the last Wild Card spot.
15
(15)
Pittsburgh Steelers 6-5 Outfitting the locker room with Clappers, Hoverounds, and Depends might keep quarterback Charlie Batch from being a complete loser, but they won't help him win. You need Ben back.
16
(13)
Minnesota Vikings 6-5 Jared, I want my damn check back. You took out the wrong lineman!
17
(21)
Miami Dolphins 5-6 You could impress me a little if you won more than two games from here on out.
18
(11)
New Orleans Saints 5-6 I bet you'd love to have that Week 3 game against the Chiefs back. Haha!
19
(17)
Dallas Cowboys 5-6 Don't feel too bad. The Lions and the Jets also lost at home on Thanksgiving. Okay, go ahead and feel bad.
20
(20)
Saint Louis Rams 4-6-1 You need to find your identity. Try this: St Louis Los Angles Ram Cardinals. Not bad, huh?
21
(19)
Buffalo Bills 4-7 The funny thing is you actually have five winnable games to close out the season. Wouldn't that be something if you could take that second Wild Card spot?
22
(23)
San Diego Chargers 4-7 Every time I watch this team, I feel like I'm being violated.
23
(24)
Tennessee Titans 4-7 That's a tough place to win on the road. Oh wait, you played Jacksonville. Never mind.
24
(22)
New York Jets 4-7 Pretty sad when your fans bailing on the team are the big news. By the way, that "Butt Fumble" is a Youtube gem. Thank you.
25
(28)
Carolina Panthers 3-8 Looks like Cam's suggestion box is working out for them.
26
(29)
Cleveland Browns 3-8 Are you trying to rip the heart out of your fans by moving up the draft board?
27
(25)
Arizona Cardinals 4-7 I guess the Cardinal is not as intimidating a mascot as it once was.
28
(26)
Detroit Lions 4-7 You kicked a quarterback in the junk, and still can't manage a win.
29
(31)
Jacksonville Jaguars 2-9 Two impressive performances in a row. It looks like quarterback Chad Henne arrived just in time to screw them out of a really good draft pick.
30
(27)
Oak;and Raiders 3-8 Looks like you'll be in prime position to get another great kicker in the first round.
31
(30)
Philadelphia Eagles 3-8 Soaring to new lows.
32
(32)
Kansas City Chiefs 1-10 Good job, guys. You're safe in last.

About the author(s)

Ejected from a dry, desolate womb, Power Ranker John Jedlicka was thrust into this angry universe against his will, and better judgement. Armed with the knowledge of good, and the power of right, John has made it his sole mission to level fools with his arsenal of truth, and soften the blow of the harsh realities of this cruel world on the meek minded. Feel free to contact him at with praise, ridicule, or requests for clarification. Connect with

430 comments
Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

ok, heading to bed.  Have a good night all.  

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

Oh boy, we had a brawl in the NBA tonight.  Rondo started it.  This is my shocked face.  

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

Did I answer all your questions?

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

Well, Duke pulled out the win, but OSU impressed me tonight.  Played Duke just as well as Louisville and Kentucky did, and at Duke (the other 2 were neutral courts).  

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

Duke just missed the front end of ANOTHER 1-and-1.  4 point game, 28.9 seconds left, OSU at the line for 2.

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

This just got interesting.  Duke missed front end of 1-and-1.  6 point game, 45 seconds left

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

Aaron Craft looks like he's about 12 years old.  

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

Big bucket.  Duke up 5 with 1:31 left.  

niemerg1
niemerg1

  wow...thats a complete dick move...

Kuato Face
Kuato Face moderator

  Haha. i am already watching a Doctor Who video

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  I love your comments.  They make me laugh.  

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

that said, Duke has played 7 games and is 7-0.  Three wins against teams ranked in the top 5 (at the time).  One more against a ranked team, plus another against one of the best mid-major teams in the country in VCU.  That's pretty dang impressive.  

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  their perimeter defense is really good

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  Did it include the phrase "fuck Mzinga" multiple times?  If not, it wasn't strongly worded enough.

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  that'll get you banned, more likely than not.

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

gotta hit your FTs to finish the game out

Rourke
Rourke

   It's not just a dick move. It's completely self-defeating. He already has a poor reputation in the league. No team is going to want to bring him on if they know he is liable to deliberately sabotage the offensive effort.

Evil Donkey
Evil Donkey moderator

  It's cool, just under-performing 

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

  

Thanks. I try to keep it funny and light.

 

DWargs KING OF THE NORTH
DWargs KING OF THE NORTH

   I actually kept it pretty civil.   No curse words, not even any signs of outright anger. I was proud of myself.

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

4 points, 37.5 seconds, Duke at the line.

 

Lots of updates here, don't care if you don't care about the game.  

DWargs KING OF THE NORTH
DWargs KING OF THE NORTH

     Can't believe it just worked out like that.  synchronicity of the universe at its finest.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

    

Trust the Force, Luke.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

  

In other words, I'm average.

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  so you had a good night.  Congrats!

Johnathan Wood
Johnathan Wood moderator

  what's your average?  

 

Back in HS, there was a bowling alley that had a $10 (including shoes) unlimited bowling deal after 9pm (they closed at 1am).  Me and my 2 buddies went there every week for an entire summer, bowled about 20 games a night (until our arms starting hurting).  By the end of the summer, we were all averaging about 175. 

 

Of course, I've bowled maybe 5 times since I started college 7 years ago, so I'm thrilled now when I can hit 100.  

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

  I'm afraid that if I F-up, I'll lose my writing privleledges.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

  I'm dedicating my season to WCSN.

MIBearFan
MIBearFan

  

Truth? Just between you and me? I prop the Vikes up, because I like Cilderz and the Basket. I push Detroit down because I don't like LKP, and they deserve it.

I try to be fair to the Pack and Bears, because they have earned it. Gabes makes that a challenge.

PS- Rourke, Prep, SDL, LoW, LaCwrestlerr, Etc. They're assholes. Shhhh...I'm drunk. It's my bowling night. Shhhhh!!!